Have accent, will travel....

I have been to America and Canada several times and in the past I have to say the locals have struggled to understand what I was saying due to my heavy accent.  To be fair, some of the people I work with struggle with it too (or maybe just switch off when I'm talking) so it could be that I just don't talk proper...

Beautiful people - apparently you CAN understand me

Anyway, not long ago I was in America for a well deserved holiday and was sure that once again the lovely people of the USA would not understand me in the local shops etc.  I therefore made the person who inhabits my house / life and has never had problems abroad before do most of the chat.  For the purposes of this story and of clarity he is a scouser with a reasonably broad Liverpool accent.  And guess what? This time, for the first time ever they understood me and not him! I was made up!! In fact, one chap I was talking to told me "I really like your accent". My response to this was "What my accent?" as I pointed at myself. I thought he was taking the piss, but no, he did in fact like the way I sounded when I spoke. Blimey...

I think perhaps Guy Ritchie has done me a favour by making his mockney crime films and delivering the likes of Jason Statham to the world. In fact, I do tend to use that as a description when I'm talking to people online "yeah, I sound like I should be in one of his films as a cockney villain. You get the idea".

If you don't answer my question I'll shoot you. No, shoot you...

My friend and Twitter buddy Michelle is from Boston and is convinced that she will be able to understand me when we meet in the future. I'm not so sure, but it will certainly be interesting as the Boston accent is also a pretty strong. When I met my hero Patrick Stump for 30 seconds last year (and what a 30 seconds they were) he did seem to understand me when I mumbled "It was nice to meet you" at him shyly as his response was "it was nice to meet you too". Perhaps I'm doing my lovely accent a dis-service by thinking it's too strong for people to handle. Or maybe not...

It did bring hilarity to the streets of Nottingham last week, in Marks and Spencers of all places.  I was with my partner in crime Nicole and we were in the shop buying some iced buns to scoff that afternoon back at work. I was paying and the nice lady behind the counter said "they look nice" to which I replied "yes, we're having a bun party later at work". She did a double take and said "a what party??" with a slight look of concern on her face. Nicole was pissing herself laughing as I pointed at the iced buns and said "a bun party, with these here. We're going to eat them". Realization dawned and the cashier then cracked up laughing and couldn't stop. She was still giggling away after I'd paid and was leaving the store. The curse of the cockney strikes again.

Iced buns. Available for parties everywhere...

I seem to have a lot of accents in my life as well as my own. My late granddad was from Northern Ireland and despite living in the UK for well over 50 years he never lost his beautiful Irish drawl. Others had difficulty understanding him sometimes, but I guess because I had grown up hearing him sound like that I could totally get everything he said. This leads me to believe that my distinct vocal assault is not going anywhere soon as I have lived in the Midlands for over 10 years now and it hasn't softened at all. It's not going anyway soon is what I regularly tell people. I also have a few friends who are Scottish and they have pleasant enough tones too which I find easy to listen too. What they're saying might be complete drivel, but at least it's said in a nice sounding voice (sorry Ian and Steven, I don't mean it really!).

I do have difficulties in Europe with my accent though. When I was in Rome last year it was anything but easy. Once again I got the other half to do the majority of the talking as I was greeted with blank faces when I tried to ask for anything in shops.

So, the question is do I need to do something to tone myself down a bit or should I just embrace what I've got and go for it? I suppose it depends on the situation, but as this accent is going nowhere fast I would say "tough shit. This is how I sound so get used to it buddy!".

Rather than remembering the funny comments I hear at work I've started to leave my notebook on my desk and jot them down when I hear them. I've heard 2 great ones over the last week or so from a couple of likely lads in the office.

The first was my yoghurt eating colleague talking about what he had for lunch. He said to another colleague "I once ate a whole packet of chocolate digestives for lunch once. I think there were about 30 in the pack and I ate them all. I did feel quite sick afterwards though". I wonder why....

Secondly I was talking to the chap who sits opposite me and called him Lionel Blair in conversation (I can't quite remember why now). Anyway, a voice chirps up and says "there's something about Lionel Blair that I just don't trust. You know what I mean?". Not really no. Can you give me a clue.... BOOM BOOM!! Sorry, bad joke, but couldn't resist.