As discussed
previously, I spend a large part of my day travelling to and from work. As I work in the city centre of Nottingham it
is easier (I use that term loosely) to get the bus back and forth. Now, this is the bane of my life on most
days, but it also gives me an opportunity to have a ponder and also people
watch / eavesdrop.
If I could
read on the bus I would have got through the massive pile of books I have got in
no time at all, but alas, I am of the persuasion where it makes me feel a bit
tom dick so I don’t bother. I am usually
plugged into my iPod instead.
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| Check out that view |
Even with
headphones in I can still overhear some dozy arse conversations sometimes. A woman not long ago plonked herself down
next to me and phoned her mother as soon as she sat down. This woman was around 40 odd I’d guess and
she proceeded to inform ‘mother’ of what she had been buying whilst
shopping. I got the ins and outs of the
Debenhams sale, how she had a money saving voucher, but it didn’t work, so she
went to customer services and it turns out that the item wasn’t in the offer,
but she wanted the item, so she bought it anyway, but it meant that she saved
on some trousers…..AHHHHH!!!! It went on
for about 30 minutes. I was near to
strangling her with my headphones cord, but I resisted the urge and put some thrash
metal on to calm myself down….
A top tip
for you – there is usually someone being annoying loud on the bus talking on
their mobile phone. If however, you don’t
think this is the case, then its more than likely you. Think on it…
Something
else that people on the bus are guilty of is taking up 2 seats with all their
bags. I will admit, I have done this
before, BUT in my defence I only do it when there are plenty of empty
seats. I wouldn't dream of doing it when
there is no room. Although to be fair,
most of the time no-one wants to sit next to me anyway with the exception of
the talkative old woman who ignores the fact I have headphones in and proceeds
to disturb me all the way home. She’s
great! There was also the time I got totally
drenched in a down pour and it could have looked a bit like I had pissed
myself, but I swear I hadn’t. Not on
that occasion anyway….
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| Form an orderly queue please |
Then we have
the queue jumpers. Grrrrr, this gets me
really riled up. I have been waiting
patiently in a queue (as is the British way) and some knobhead disregards the line
of people and waltzes onto the bus first.
It makes my blood boil. But as is
also the British way, we ignore it and just mumble to ourselves that it was ‘frightfully
rotten of him’ and do nothing. I did
shove someone out of the way once when he tried to push in front of me and the sense
of achievement was amazing! Take that
you prick! Strangely, come to think of it,
I haven’t seen him for a long time. Hmm….
The bus I
catch to work doesn’t appear to have any sort of timetable whatsoever. I just rock up whenever I can and hope that
it will appear soon. Usually it doesn’t,
but I can’t bring myself to walk to another stop and catch another bus. “I've committed to this one and need to stick with it” I say to myself and the 3rd
other bus I can catch drives past…. One day I will learn and will perhaps be
fit enough to run for the alternative.
When I say “I can’t even run for
the bus”, I genuinely mean this. I
am so unfit it’s not funny. If I ever
have to run for the bus it takes me about 20 minutes of heavy breathing to calm
myself down afterwards. The other
passengers probably think they’re dialed into a dirty phone line with all the
noise. Not that I would know what that
sounds like of course….
The drivers
themselves can either be very nice or down right miserable gits. Last night was a prime example of a total
dick driver on the bus I got home. It
was parked up at the stop, but as I went to get on-board he shut the
doors. He then decided to allow me on,
but his machine wasn’t logged in so when I tried to ‘touch on’ using my card
the machine went a bit haywire. “You can’t do it yet, you can’t do it yet” he
shouted at me. Alright happy, calm down
will you. “I’m already running 10 minutes late” he spat at me. Well that’s not my fault is it. You clearly weren’t waiting for me were you as
you have just tried to kill me by closing the doors on my head, you moron. In London the bus drivers are encased in ten
foot of plastic so no-one can get near them.
They don’t make eye contact with you and certainly don’t speak to
you. I’m not sure what is worse, having
drivers who are totally removed from you or having ignorant ones who think it’s
acceptable to be rude to you. Although,
to be fair, you don’t need to be driving a bus to do that…
Office Overheard
My office is
full of amusing little tit-bits so I decided to share these with you. I have to admit, some of the time I deliberately
set things up to cause amusement, but sometimes there are gems of comments that
need to be shared.
Today’s
comment came after a discussion on fish and chips and what you have with
it. Someone was talking about mushy peas
and the response was “I don’t like mushy
peas. I like to know where one pea ends
and another one starts”…. Genius.
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